New Recruit

He just goes to me, “You’re going to misunderstand what’s about to happen to you, and for that, I am profoundly sorry.” and sticks the knife in, and that’s it, game over. Except that it wasn’t over at all.

So, what happened see, I'm on my way home from Food Emporium, when I see this homeless guy I kind of know. Well, I don’t really know him, but whenever I see him and his dog, (he has a dog) I usually give him a couple of bucks or buy him some food or something. This time, I was broke, and I’d just used the last of my foodstamps for the month, which sucked big time, because it was only the seventh. So, I see him sitting out front and it’s freezing outside, I mean like in the teens and windy, and he’s sort of huddling behind his cart inside 3 or 4 coats and when he sees me, he says hi because I usually give him some money or buy him some food. So I notice his dog isn’t with him, but there’s this other homeless guy, maybe 60 or 70, (it’s hard to tell) talking to him, and he’s really skinny and he's wearing this old looking army jacket but he looks kind of peaceful and stuff, so I ask my friend, well, he’s not really my friend, but you know what I mean, where his dog is, and he tells me he’s been leaving his dog with a friend because its been so cold and this way he can go into the subway at night or go to the shelter and stuff.. so, I’m standing there, talking to him and I feel a little guilty, you know, standing there holding groceries, on my way home, so I tell him I don’t have any money this time, but I just got him some cheese and a bottle of water, and I take a package of string cheese and a bottle of water and give it to him, and tell him I just used the last of my food stamps, maybe so he realizes it’s kind of a sacrifice for me or something.. then the other guy smiles at me, and I smile back, thinking he must see that I’m a good person or something, not like all the rich snobs that live around here, and I say to the two of them have a good night and stay warm.. so I’m on my way home now, and I turn onto my block and suddenly he’s right there in front of me, and I have no idea how he got there, because I just left him in front of Food Emporium, and he’s got a knife, so the thought “how the hell did he get in front of me so fast?” is replaced by “who's this asshole in front of me with a knife?” and he just goes to me “ You’re going to misunderstand what’s about to happen to you, and for that, I am profoundly sorry.” and that's it.. it's like a flash, no pain even, and I’m here, in this stupid waiting room, and some guy's tellin' me I'm about to be drafted into Heaven's army or something, because there’s some kind of angelic war going on..

So, what about you? How’d you get here?