23.05.2023

So the demon is once again on my shoulder

Telling me again and again 

Of the weightless softness of nothingness

And of how,  in fact, 

No matter how wonderful these

Odd compensations

They are still

Compensations, unable ever to be more. 

I'm so tired of hearing

"It will get better", when 

Even when it does, 

It never stays that way. 

Right now, 

My breath itself makes me anxious

I long to put my

Diaphragm to rest

No

Nothing new has happened

There is no fresh injury

This is just the way it is

This is how it has always been.

22.05.2023

Pay attention. 

To now. This moment. 

I promise you

Whatever you're going through

Good, awful, or mundane

One day, if you're lucky enough to still exist

Nostalgia will strike

And you'll try to recapture 

What you were wearing

What you were feeling

What the weather felt like

What slant of light, 

How your father looked, sitting at his desk in his 

Ben Gurion shirt and khaki pants that

No belt could ever hold up 

Above his slender hips

How your mother's students sounded

On their toy- like violins, playing

Variation after variation 

Of "Twinkle"

Which dog, 

Or dogs were alive at that time

What you ate for dinner when you gathered around the 

White formica table that night

After your mom's last students for the day had finally left

Once your father had been a

Woken from his 

Afternoon nap  

And since

We still can't Google 

Our own intimate experiences of things

Pay attention

I promise you

There will come a day you will 

Want to recall 

This now.